To fare means to fare your time, to fare your money, to fare your friendship, to fare your career, to fare your family life, and to fare an independent, dependable, and happy you. This will make your life so full. When you leave this world, you would not feel your life has been wasted and worthless.
It is good for people to be able to think about faring a life. I have been living in other people's lives for a long time that I had lost a major part of my own life. Thanks for my staying in this place, it gives me a lot of lessons other than just academic ones. Christian friends' attitudes toward religion believes is one aspect in the period. No matter I believe in God or not, I did learned something from it. For example, I do believe that people has original evils and had, almost thoroughly, abandoned the Chinese belief that human beings are born innocent.
The most important thing is that I have regained my ability to think critically, which I had lost it in the working enviroment. Studying here gives me a chance to go back to austere life style, to read more, and to think more. This helped me realized the complex of human being and its society.
About 20 minutes ago, I was still expecting to give all my life to my posterities since my life has been messed up so heavily. In doing so, I am expecting to see my kids get the best out of their intelligence under my guidance. Yet, a thought hit my brain in a sudden: What will happen to myself when my kids start to look for their compatible friendship and love? What will then be left in my life? Do I have to fare new relationships and friendships with other people by that time? I realized that if I put all my time and love on my kids, I probably will lose myself one more time. And this time, my life would never come back to myself again.
Most of Chinese parents have been giving their whole life to their kids. As far as I know, my generation, especially women of my generation, started to be given an idea to have our own life even in the marriage. Yet, for a Chinese woman, it is not easy to be out of the traditional Chinese expectations when you have a pair of mediocre parents. Chuck is the Vice President of our Authority. When I told him that not long after the car accident happend on August 2, 2005. I started to think about the meaning of my life.
What if I died that day? My life would have been ended in a status of no meanings at all. This is not what I have been pursuing. I realized a lot of things have slipped away from me, like my beauty, my health, and my time. Life means more. It should be more than degrees and kudos. I should have treated myself nicer.
"To start realizing this in my early 30s would not be too late," I told chuck. "I wish the generation of my parents could have realized that. But almost all of Chinese parents today are still giving all they have to their kids, wishing their kids best."
"American parents just started to realize that not too longer ago," he said. "My daughter is 35, and my son is 26. They still didn't realized that. Someday they will understand how important it is to be able to manage their own lives. Life will give them reminders finally," Chuck says.
Life belongs to oneself only. Nobody will be able to change your life unless you yourself make up your mind to change it. But how to change your life is a bump for those who want to change themselves. To me, this bump has been a huge and long mountain to climb up.
Even though I am lucky to be born in a world that women are given chances of higher education, I should have thanked my mother, who not only pushed me to go out and make a life by myself. She is not a capable mother, but she had given me her hands whenever I needed her.
I am also very lucky to be able to meet this man, who became my husband in 1999. He has lots of weaknesses. Yet, his most successful thing is to be able to hold me firmly. It is his holding that let me be able to live in a way that I would like to have.
And because of the two important people in my life, I am able to sit here and tell you what I have realized today. This could be the most important thing that I have ever seen in my whole life, i.e., to fare is good.
